Sense of entitlement in couple relationships: An attachment theory perspective

Our sense of entitlement is activated and influences our interactions and attitudes in a wide range of contexts, but it seems to have special relevance to couple relationships, as these intimate relationships serve as a unique meeting point between needs, wishes, and expectations. Emphasis is placed on the connection between one's sense of entitlement in a romantic relationship and early experiences of entitlement in the context of relationships with primary caregivers. An understanding of the development of normal and pathological senses of entitlement is suggested based on attachment theory; according to this understanding, one's sense of entitlement is conceived as part of internal working models and thus is closely related to one's specific attachment style. Two clinical illustrations that show the effects of the partners' sense of entitlement on their relationship are presented and discussed in connection with early attachments. © 2011 Association for the Advancement of Psychoanalysis.