"Come on Baby. You Know I Love You": African American Women's Experiences of Communication with Male Partners and Disclosure in the Context of Unwanted Sex

We examined African American women's experiences of communication with their male intimate partners a couple of hours before and after an incident of unwanted sex. We also examined women's experiences of disclosure following an incident of unwanted sex. Semi-structured qualitative interviews were conducted with a community-based sample of sexually active African American women (n = 19) reporting at least one incident of sexual coercion (i.e., being pressured into unwanted sex without consent) by an intimate male partner since the age of 18. Our analysis was guided by "the sexual division of power" from Connell's (1987) theory of gender and power. Data were analyzed inductively by examining the interviews for common themes in the following domains: communication before the unwanted sex, communication after the unwanted sex, and disclosure to others. Men pressured partners for unwanted sex through verbal and non-verbal tactics, ranging from pestering and blunt requests for sex to verbal bullying and violence. Many women responded by clearly saying no. However, many women also described eventually ceasing to resist their partners and engaging in unwanted sex. After the unwanted sex, men actively and passively avoided discussing the incident. Although many women discussed the unwanted sex with family and friends, less women disclosed to trained professionals. In some cases, women did not discuss the incident with anyone at all. These findings indicate that, when addressing sexual violence against women, there is a need to target men as well as the norms of masculinity that underpin physical and sexual violence against women.