From a first person perspective: Soldiers' experiences three decades after an avalanche-A qualitative interview study

Study objectives: The aim of this study was to explore indirectly exposed soldiers' subjective experiences following an avalanche. Three decades after the trauma, this study describes the perceived impact of the disaster by peers of those who survived or died in the avalanche. Method: A qualitative, cross-sectional, study based on 17 individual interviews with persons indirectly exposed to an avalanche. Data was analysed according to qualitative content analysis. Findings: The findings revealed 'being a significant first person' as the main theme. Two categories were developed: 1) Experience of closeness to the victims 2) Experience of distance post-disaster. The categories elaborated two subcategories each: 1) Could have been me 2) Sadness, grief, shame and guilt over losing friends and 1) Unorganized military service post-disaster 2) Anger towards the system. Conclusion: The soldiers indirectly exposed to the avalanche need to be seen both as a person and as a group. Both immediately following and decades after the disaster, the informants wanted the military to offer adequate follow-up.