Keeping Them Out, Letting You In: Fighting Academons Through Critical Queer Reflexivity, Performative Poetics, and Uncovering a Scholar of Color Identity

As a first-year doctoral student in my first quarter, I expected to be challenged, not rocked to my core. I entered the program with what I would have described as a strong, salient, and clear understanding of who I am and how I move in the world. At the end of my first year, I can say with conviction that I have more to learn. There were four critical moments that shifted/altered/jolted my learning forward. This article is structured around each of these moments and is an exploration of the themes and questions that emerged.