'Grandma is the next best thing to mommy': incarcerated motherhood, caring relationships and maternal identity

Incarcerated mothers face a role conflict rooted in separation from children. Little research has examined how incarcerated mothers perceive, give meaning to and negotiate caregiver relationships. Drawing on interviews with 83 mothers in a county jail, we find that the mothers experienced 'ambivalent gratitude': they were grateful to caregivers for caring for their children and helping them stay connected during incarceration, but often felt shut out from day-to-day caregiving and/or felt disrespected or replaced by caregivers in the eyes of their children. This 'ambivalent gratitude' elicited conflicted feelings towards the caregivers, undermining both their self-integrity and their identities as mothers.