Personal Standards for Judging Aggression by a Relationship Partner: How Much Aggression Is Too Much?

What determines whether people tolerate partner aggression? This research examined how norms, relationship experiences, and commitment predict personal standards for judging aggressive acts by a partner. Studies 1a and 1b (n = 689) revealed that experiencing aggression in a current relationship and greater commitment predicted greater tolerance for common partner aggression. Study 2 longitudinally tracked individuals who had never experienced partner aggression (n = 52). Once aggression occurred, individuals adopted more tolerant standards, but only if they were highly committed. Study 3 involved experimentally manipulating the relevance of partner aggression among individuals who reported current partner aggression (n = 73); they were more tolerant of aggressive acts imagined to occur by their partner (vs. the same acts by a stranger), but only if they were highly committed. Personal standards for judging partner aggression are dynamic. They shift toward greater tolerance when committed people experience aggression in a current relationship.