Like being covered in a wet and dark blanket - Parents' lived experiences of losing a child to cancer

Purpose: The aim of this study was to illuminate parents' lived experiences of losing a child to cancer. Method: Interviews and a narrative about parents' experiences of losing a child to cancer were gathered from six parents of children whom had participated in a longitudinal study across the child's illness trajectory. The analysis of the data was inspired by van Manen's hermeneutic phenomenological approach. Results: One essential theme emerged: Like being covered in a wet and dark blanket, as well as six related themes: Feeling conflicting emotions, Preparing for the moment of death, Continuing parenting after death, Recollecting and sharing memories, Working through the sorrow and New perspectives in life. Conclusion: There is a need for good palliative care. If not, there is a risk that the parent will perseverate and blame themselves for not being a good parent during the suffering child's last time in life. Meetings with the parents six months and two years after the child's death might facilitate healing through the grief process. (C) 2016 Published by Elsevier Ltd.