Dependence or Independence: Which Is the Dirty Word?

We are suspicious of the mob, the gang, the enmeshed relationship. We also know no one can be an island. Our heroes tend to be loners - the solo detective, those who live free under the stars - but we esteem individuals who devote themselves to others. We want to belong, but we don't want to be owned. Like a game of Snakes and Ladders, there are trap-doors and escalators in the theme Dependence or independence: Which is the dirty word? This paper explores the frisson and the conflicts in the complex relationships between dependence and independence. Following an introductory vignette, a schematic account is presented of the diverse ways 'dependence' and 'independence' can be theoretically interpreted including by systems theory. A deeper attention is then paid to honouring the importance of 'dependence' and 'independence' as key referents in everyday subjectivity. A first-person account of mental illness is drawn on to illustrate this theme. A final section examines the implications for family therapy practice that arise from the above analysis.