We studied how the sex of the aggressor and their motivations for attacking influence the social perception of intimate partner violence, as well as the sex of the observer and their sexist ideology. University students read a scenario in which both members of a heterosexual couple harmed each other owing to controlling or reactive motivations. After that, they were asked to identify the motivations of each partner and estimate the seriousness of what occurred, the number of aggressions described and the frequency of this kind of episode in real life. The results showed that the men and women properly identified the motivations underlying the aggressive behaviours, considered control violence more serious than reactive violence, and perceived more of the first kind of aggression. However, the men estimated a lower frequency of these episodes in real life, especially episodes of control violence. The ambivalent sexism of the men is related to these assessments. These results are particularly important with regard to the debate on gender symmetry/asymmetry in intimate partner violence.