Motives between the Sheets: Understanding Obligation for Sex at Midlife and Associations with Sexual and Relationship Satisfaction

Reasons for sex are associated with sexual and relational outcomes. This study investigated reasons for sex at last sex, with a focus on obligation (an avoidance motivation) and doing something nice for a partner (an approach motivation), and their associations with sexual and relationship satisfaction, while controlling for marital duration, age, and sexual desire. We investigated these reasons among married, midlife Canadian women (n = 324), men (n = 275), and 25 non-binary/gender queer participants 40 to 59 years of age. Participants were recruited from a Qualtrics analytics panel and completed an online questionnaire. Obligation was reported as a reason for having sex by 12.4% of women and 1.8% of men; "doing something nice" was reported by 10.2% of women and 9.5% of men. In regression analyses, women who reported having sex for obligation had significantly lower relationship satisfaction and sexual satisfaction than women who did not report this reason. In contrast, having sex to do something nice for one's partner was associated with higher sexual satisfaction among women. Findings indicate that having sex when feeling obligated may be associated with negative sexual and relational outcomes among midlife women.