'As if the soul returns to the body': affect, stuckedness, and (in)voluntary return to Nicaragua from Spain

This article attends to the emotional resonances of 'stuckedness' and (in)voluntary return as experienced by Nicaraguan migrants stranded in Spain during the COVID-19 pandemic. Feeling both figuratively and literally trapped in a context of cascading lockdowns, border closures, and travel restrictions, many viewed Spain's Assisted Voluntary Return and Reintegration (AVRR) programme as offering a choice to 'freely' depart Spain - a way to simultaneously leave their distressing circumstances behind while returning to the comfort of 'home' and family. Building on recent literature that challenges the basis for participation in such programmes as founded on free, voluntary, and individual decisions, this article contends that, for some, the act of 'choosing' to return generates a profound and unexpected emotional response. In the case of a Nicaraguan migrant woman explored in detail here, the execution of said return activates feelings of relief, euphoria, and hope, as well as a renewed sense of self. Nevertheless, her response is temporally and geographically contingent, as returning to Nicaragua via AVRR does not necessarily diminish her desire to remigrate or render her less 'stuck'. The empirical material that informs this paper was collected through digital ethnography and in-person encounters in both Spain and Nicaragua between 2020 and 2021.