Autistic trans camouflaging: an early phenomenological exploration

Autistic people often camouflage, i.e. they adopt certain behaviors in order to fit in in neurotypical environments. Autobiographical accounts suggest that autistic trans people experience camouflaging in a unique, more complex and often heightened way than cis autistic people, and this has not been studied. They have autistic traits to mask, as well as gendered traits, in a hostile neuronormative and cisnormative world. This intersection of experience is worthy of exploration, not least because this group of people are typically misunderstood and silenced, as well as being particularly at risk of the mental distress that can come from camouflaging. In this paper I discuss autistic trans people's accounts of camouflaging and begin a preliminary phenomenological analysis. I draw primarily from Simone de Beauvoir's concept of "doubling", whereby (cis) women experience being both oneself and the image of oneself, under patriarchal objectification. One can argue that autistic people are similarly "doubled" when camouflaging, experiencing their neurodivergent selves as well as their more neurotypical presentation. Going beyond de Beauvoir, it can be further argued that many trans people experience "tripling" and therefore that trans autistic people experience being at least "quadrupled" if not "quintupled".